Decolonized Somatic Therapy for Kinky, Sex-Positive, Ethically Non-Monogamous folx

(I center working with non-binary, 2SLGBTQIA+, &/or QTBIPOC populations)

I help folks more fully bring themselves into relational healing through a decolonized, attachment-focused, somatic (embodied) approach.

Embodied connection when experienced with safety, consent, communication, and love in relationship can be healing. Pleasure and connection (emotional, sensual, or sexual) are part of the vitality of the body, and can be accessed in a a variety of direct culturally embedded ways. Learning to listen for, value, and center your bodies inherent sensual knowing is part of the process of decolonizing the body, re-centering yourself in your bodily wisdom in relationship, culture, ancestry, and community, while also working to dismantle and challenge the ways the erotic is suppressed, commodified, and exotified in euro-american society in colonial, heteronormative, patriarchal, transphobic ways.

One of my passions and values in my practice is thus centering and supporting 2SLGBTQIA+ & QTBIPOC folx in reclaiming the power of the embodied and heart-centered erotic, and learning to explore and safely navigate internal and relational terrains of sensuality, connection, power dynamics, consent, changes, jealousy, pleasure, sex, friendship, & boundaries in consensual and ethical non-monogamy, kink/bdsm, polyamory, open relationship structures.

While alternative relationship structures and terms like compersion, metamour, polycule may seem modern in euro-american contexts, throughout history many BIPOC cultures have embraced a variety of gender identities, sexual orientations, and communal/open relationship structures that have been buried, erased, and homogenized through the violence of colonization. Colonization leads to mononormativity. Decolonizing relationship means interrogating the way mononormativity oppresses folks in alternative relational structures and confers unfair advantage to monogamous relational forms grounded in colonization.

I offer a decolonized approach to sex-positivity that acknowledges that many cultures of color throughout the world centered vitality, sensuality, pleasure, sexuality eons before euro-american white sexual liberation. A decolonized approach to sex-positivity means reconnecting with our cultural and ancestral bodies and dismantling the ways in which sexuality has been objectified and commodified by capitalism and colonialism.

Colonization cuts us off from embodied sensuality, pleasure, rest, gender & sexual diversity, visceral interconnectedness, and the healing power of the erotic. Colonization devalues the visceral sensuality of the body & the connective powers of the erotic. Colonization over-values euro-american individualistic & intellect-based modes of knowing, creates an artificial scarcity model of connection, fragments bodily sensuality from history, culture, and land, and imposes hegemonic standards of gender binaries, heteronormativity, and monogamy.

Decolonization on a bodily involve involves reclaiming sensuality, pleasure, & the erotic through reforming cultural modes of being in ones body in relationship with oneself and others while acknowledging the ways colonization has created harm in our bodies and doing the work of personal and collective healing. By deepening into the cultural body through the lens of decolonization we can forge a visceral sense of what connection and pleasure in relationship feels like, which can open the door to broader experiences of pleasure in nature, land, history, culture.

For more information I also highly recommend reading the following books:

Mo Asebiomo: It's My Pleasure, Decolonizing Sex Positivity

Jessica Fern: Polysecure - Attachment, Trauma, & Consensual Non-Monogamy